I am a conformist to the fourth power.

That last post was insanely boring. In the bad way. I apologize profusely. I will attempt to be nonsensical and amusing to make up for it. However, I don't know if I'll be able to accomplish it. Because, dear people, I am a conformist. It's a shocking tragedy, I know. But I have four silly bands. They reside on my wrist, two of them sparkly and shaped like a trombone and an electric guitar. But I am still a conformist. Because everyone is doing it. I'm so ashamed.

But that doesn't matter. I will do everything in my power to counter my outbreak of conformism. Before we do that, I would like to say one thing. Yes, it is August. Yes, this is a blog. No, I am not doing Blog Every Day in August. Because that would require dedication, and amusing thoughts, and effort. And I have far more important things to be doing with my time.

Well. Now I find that I have very little to talk about. *tear* (trailing down my face in an intricate pattern, of course) OH YEAH!! My hair is officially long enough to fit into pig-tails. I think it makes me look rather pixyish, but that may just be me. And I'm getting a haircut. At two thirty. And I have a soccer game!! On Saturday!! At-- wait, what? Eight in the fracking MORNING?? I can't do that! *tear* (retracing the intricate pattern from the first time)

Well, tarnation. I don't like waking up early. Particularly not at six in the morning. To go exercise a bunch. Call me crazy, but that's not my idea of fun. Anyways, today I will be getting my laptop for school. It is supposedly tiny. And we have internet. I can see that being a very bad idea. Not that I'd do anything like get on the internet and blog while I'm supposed to be doing research.

It seems as if lots of exciting things are going to be happening to me in the relatively near future. Haircuts, the first soccer game in several weeks (that's a big deal for me, okay?), school starting, getting my braces off... Oh, and I've also started working on my Halloween costume. I'll be going with my friend, Rachel. Her nickname shall be She Who Does Not Respond to Texts. Nope, too long. She'll just be Pipsqueak. #because she's short

Anyways, we're going as faeries. Not like the ones that trail glitter and wave star-tipped wands. Nope. We're going to be quasi-Victorian, goth-esque faeries. It may involved me buying a netted hat. You remember, the one I was talking about in my last blog. Was that my last blog? I don't remember. Freaking memory-loss... What was I saying? Oh, yes. Costume.

I'm going to buy some black jeans this weekend. First, because I need new jeans. Second, because black goes with anything. Third, because it will be part of my costume. *everything I do has an ulterior motive* And I think I have a white tank top that I can use with a red vest that Pipsqueak will be lending me. And I'll have red wings. And I don't know what shoes yet. And I'm going to ask my mom to make me a pair of fingerless red gloves. Or maybe black. I haven't decided yet. And I have a black necklace. Lots of red and black involved.

Speaking of red and black, I want to redecorate my room. Have I already talked about this in my blog? I don't recall... In any case, I would like to paint my walls black with sparkly silver paint sponged onto them in a pattern. I haven't decided what pattern yet. Then I would have red curtains and probably a red dresser. I would have hardwood floors and maybe some white rugs, for contrast. And a canopy bed. Because that's just cool. But until I have my own house or somehow convince my mom, my room will remain pastel pink. *le sigh*

The hats. Ah, how many hats I want. I would love to have a fedora. Unfortunately, I don't look good in them. But I still want one. Call me crazy. It's okay to speak the truth. Oh, yes! I promised to regale you with stories of Hank the Ninja Unicorn. A good place to start would be his birth, I think. *And so it begins*

Okay, so my old school was doing this thing where they were trying to figure out what their students needed to work on when it comes to writing. So of course, they decided to have us write essays. The entire grade went into the cafeteria and sat down in front of a number and was given a piece of paper with the same number on it and a topic. The topic? Social networking.

SOCIAL NETWORKING?? Really? How the heck am I supposed to write a five-paragraph essay on social networking? It took all of my creative ability (as well as some BS ability (that's been very handy)) for me to wring four paragraphs on that topic from my pen. And it was painful. I could do no more. And I needed another paragraph. And thus, Hank the Ninja Unicorn was born.

My last paragraph began: "and since I have thoroughly exhausted the topic of social networking, I shall tell you a story. I hope you enjoy it." I mean, really, what are they going to do? Put it on my permanent record? Make me write another paragraph on social networking? And so I wrote. I told of one of his epic adventures converting non-believers into believers. It's for the non-believers' own good. Otherwise the evil pixies will come for them.

In any case, I spent many minutes amusing my friends with this tale. Not all of them believed me at first, but there was absolutely no reason for me to lie. I hope whatever teacher read my paper liked it. And since I'm going to high school, they have absolutely no way of punishing me if they didn't. So there. *sticks tongue out* *is mature* *waves goodbye*